Does perception require focusing your attention to become fully aware of entities? I believe it requires focusing your eyes, which does require some effort, and perhaps not a great deal less than the effort required to focus your mind. The difference between your experience and your wife’s experience seems to be that she is focusing her gaze on the objects and thus perceiving them, and further, she is conceptualizing what she perceives, thinking about it. You, as you say, are looking in the same direction, but you are not focusing your gaze on the same things and, having not seen the thing, you don’t think about it. Try an experiment: Glance out your window at an object, perhaps a tree or even just part of a tree, but do not conceptualize at all. Do not register conceptually any details about it. Simply glance at it, look away, and in your mind’s eye, visualize what you have just seen. I’ll bet that, at least for most objects, you can do this without trouble.